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Empathy Preference



Initially agree that ‘something’ must be done ‘quickly’
Use a lot of ‘action’, ‘doing’ and ‘fixing things’ words
Appear enthusiastic, positive and ‘animated’
Speak slightly faster and more loudly than normal
Be brief, to the point, using simple words and phrases
Use expressions and gestures to show your emotions
Repeat (i.e. ‘bullet point’ summarise) what they say
Expect them to take seemingly unnecessary ‘risks’
Respond immediately to their direct questions
Expect decisions based on limited or subjective data
Maintain eye contact and agree you will take ‘action’
Send one page executive summaries, agendas or notes
Keep them updated with ‘brief’ progress reports
Emphasise speed, simplicity, results and ‘winning’
Recognise their achievements in front of others
Give them motivational (+) feedback (me, Me, ME!)
Position developmental (-) feedback to their results


X Argue with them because that’s often what they want!
X Ask for more time, facts or figures to make a decision
X Talk at length about detail before you give a summary
X Expect them to hold a grudge after an outburst or rant
X Be surprised when they make subjective statements
X Agree with them simply to avoid conflict or an issue
X Challenge their authority or position in a group context
X Expect them to have read the detail prior to meetings
X Take offence when they send you ‘one word’ emails
X Talk about problems without suggesting solutions
X Give them ambiguous answers or complicated ideas
X Provide them with too many options to choose from
X Be shocked if they use ‘blunt’ or ‘brusque’ language
X Allow ‘robust debates’ to cause you to sulk or argue
X Be offended when they ‘Tell’ you exactly what to do!
X Waste their time, enthusiasm or energy with ‘trivia’
X Accept rudeness or bullying from them – give feedback!